Helping Children Thrive:

Supporting the Mothering of Woman Abuse Survivors

The Centre was honoured to have been chosen as a finalist in the Changemakers collaborative competition called No Private Matter! Ending Abuse in Intimate and Family Relations. Judges representing four private foundations in the U.S. -- the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, the Family Violence Prevention Fund, the Ford Foundation, and the Waitt Institute for Violence Prevention -- reviewed entries from 46 countries and selected our Centre as one of 15 finalists demonstrating "outstanding innovation, impact and sustainability" in the work to end abuse in intimate and family relations. Changemakers is an initiative of Ashoka (Innovators for the Public) promoting creative and sustainable social entrepreneurship for the world's most urgent social problems.

Here is a description of the body of work that garnered this honour.

Overview of Initiative

UNICEF estimates that at least 275 million children live with domestic violence against their mothers.

An abusive father models intimidation, entitlement and aggression as problem solving. Often isolated from helpful support, his children can't feel safe in their own home. They can see the world as scarey and dangerous and often experience stresses statistically correlated with domestic violence such as residential instability. In this context, some will develop temporarily effective but ultimately costly ways of coping and surviving such as emotional numbing, aggression, drug use, or early exit from home. Whether because of these mechanisms or others, children who live with domestic violence are primed to use or accept violence in their future intimate relationships, perpetuating a cycle of abuse that could reverberate across generations.

Such consequences for children, in both the short and long-term, are now well documented. A topic drawing less attention from researchers and policy makers is how being a victim of domestic violence compromises a women's parenting. A woman with an abusive partner faces enormous challenges to be the best mother she could be. When the abusive man is no longer in the home, women worry about how the children were affected and look for assistance with managing any worrisome behaviors, thought or emotions they see in their children.

Parenting Tips for Mothers who Survived Woman Abuse is a research-informed parenting support system for children exposed to domestic violence embedded in a comprehensive, multi-faceted and accessible training initiative for helpers. The premise is that helping women as mothers is among the best ways to help children. At the same time, most parenting courses and books are not appropriate for families where an abusive man was in the father role. An abusive man affects family dynamics in many harmful ways and his abuse and parenting style can compromise the ability of a woman to be the best mother she could be, possibly damaging in the long run the mother/child bond of trust and affection.

Recognizing the unique dynamics of parenting in the presence of domestic violence, we developed material to help the helpers broadly defined support woman abuse survivors as mothers. Common sense, grounded experience, and the most methodologically rigorous research converge to suggest that a comprehensive intervention with a woman and her children would include these imperatives:

1. ending a child's exposure to domestic violence and maltreatment is the single most important way to help children

Severity of violence (including frequency) and the number of types of maltreatment are statistically correlated to the probably and level of later problems in children.

2. if required, help the family find a safe place to live, a source of income, and other features of daily living to meet basic needs and create stability

Outcome in children is also statistically correlated with stresses and adversities typically seen in conjunction with domestic violence, such as socio-economic disadvantage, residential instability, and unsafe neighborhoods.

3. support women as mothers by fostering good parenting skills and encouraging her to address any personal issues compromising her parenting (e.g., depression)

Outcome in children exposed to domestic violence is correlated with family functioning and parenting style including discipline techniques.

We believe women who lived with domestic violence want to understand how each child was affected, how their mothering was affected, and how they can gain confidence as parents. Working backwards from an understanding of how children are shaped by domestic violence, we crafted ten concrete and straightforward parenting tips. For example, number 5 is:

Give the reason behind each request

This simple tip would be useful for any parent. Why is it important for children who lived with domestic violence? Rigid and authoritarian parents issue orders and expect immediate and unquestioning compliance. An abusive man's need to assert control and coerce compliance means his requests are often anger-driven, loud, and aimed at getting something he wants. Mothers are encouraged to frame requests so children see it is not a random or baseless demand. Knowing the reason for the requested action may increase the probability of compliance. Over time, children learn that behavior has effects and consequences. They also learn to see the view points of other people and appreciate that their mother is looking out for their best interests.

These tips are embedded in a package of background material containing providing service deliverers with information on how woman abuse affects parenting and how to help women as mothers. In the Helping Children Thrive resource, service deliverers find 27 handouts they are encouraged to copy and distribute to women in a one-on-one or group intervention on woman abuse or on parenting. Topics addressed in the handouts help women see how each of her children as a unique individual experienced the violence. There is also background material on woman abuse, safety planning, how to ask for what you need from service deliverers, how abusive men affect family dynamics, the effects of power and control tactics on women as mothers, family roles that may arise in homes with domestic violence, coping strategies mothers may see in their children, guidance on how to talk with children about the abuse, and the importance of self-care.

A number of resource documents are available, listed below, designed for helping professionals, students, women, and researchers or those interested in the research base of the approach. Material emanating from this project continues to evolve and all of it is available at no cost through the Internet for use anywhere in the world. Some of the resources are designed for volunteers and students as they study for and enter the helping professions (broadly defined) and some provide advanced skills training for seasoned professionals.

Future development possibilities are many. The goal is to build on components garnering greatest accolade. On-site training will continue to be available. However, we want to explore and develop expertise in alternate modalities of knowledge transfer, such as on-line classes, CD- ROM based training modules, and perhaps DVD-based information for mothers. These technologies would expand the capacity to meet demand for training and permit training in a wider number of languages, especially Spanish. We welcome opportunities to work collaboratively with agencies in other countries to adapt the material to specific cultures. In addition, we would very much like to develop similar material suitable for men as fathers.

Material now under development includes a workbook for mothers of self-study exercises and homework assignments. A companion book is appropriate for both mothers and their supporters. It is called Making Tomorrow Better: Helpful and Hopeful Ways to Support Children as they Heal from Domestic Violence and Abuse. Careful attention to the language and terminology makes it suitable for an American audience but also appropriate in Canada, Australia, the United Kingdom and other places where English is spoken understood. We are seeking a publisher.

Innovation

The Centre for Children and Families in the Justice System (formerly the London Family Court Clinic) is a children's mental health center serving about 800 families each year. Our work with children and an understanding of their needs was synthesized with our own applied research to craft an empirically informed approach grounded in the lived reality of women and children, and shaped to be a feasible intervention approach useful in any country, at no cost to women and at no or minimal cost to deliverers of the service. What makes this approach innovative?

1. Focusing on quality research, not all the research
There has been an explosion in recent years in the amount of information generated about child exposure to domestic violence. Adapting the concept of systemic review pioneered by the Cochrane Collaboration and its sister the Campbell Collaboration, we analyzed almost 500 sources of information on this topic and developed criteria defining the best research now available. Relying heavily on prospective studies of the general population which controlled for the co-occurrence of child maltreatment, it becomes apparent that the relationship between domestic violence and later problems in children is complex and depends on many factors. This led to the development of a new framework for understanding to guide assessment, future program development and research. We made recommendations for the methodological issues of future research and defined an evaluation approach for children's programs. This learning was summarized in a 2004 document called What About Me! Seeking to Understand the Child's View of Violence in the Family.

2. Supporting the mother to help the child
While not the only agency to adopt this orientation, the vast majority of intervention approaches see the child as the "identified client." Many fine approaches are available for individual or group interventions with children. As service deliverers, our involvement is necessary time limited. A mother's love, affection, availability, and investment in her child's well being and healthy development are powerful factors to harness in our efforts to help children. Each day yields dozens of priceless opportunities for "teachable moments" which foster healing and promote healthy development. Importantly, women want to help their children heal and thrive.

3. Listening to children
We sometimes project our adult understanding of domestic violence onto children. For example, it is clear to us that alcohol does not cause a man to be violent. To younger children, this fact conflicts deeply with their observations and experiences at home. Moreover, believing that alcohol makes their father mean is a protective mechanism, permitting them to preserve a sense of him as a good person (which he may be to them most of the time). An intervention with this child can benefit from understanding how children of different ages understand the causes and effects of violence and their role in it. An innovative part of our resource material takes the form of four models for how children of four developmental stages experience and understand the existence of domestic violence in their homes.

4. Listening to service deliverers
Tens of thousands of professionals have attended our training sessions in Canada, across the United States, in Europe and recently in Asia. They tell us there is good awareness about the fact that exposure to domestic violence harms children. What they need, however, is specific intervention techniques including assessment tools. Knowing that children can be "impacted" by domestic violence does not help us understand which children are affected, how, they are affected, and most importantly, what to do about it.

5. Attending to transportability
It is clear from our communications with colleagues around the world that the material can be used in countries outside Canada and the United States. We have been asked for permission to translate the material into other languages so we know it is available in Portuguese, Japanese, Spanish, and Swedish. Agencies in England, Wales and Australia have adapted the English language material to local idioms and legal terminology and added references to nearby resources. Almost all of the resources are available in French and we have many users in Europe and northern Africa, principally Morocco.

6. Making the resources accessible
As service deliverers ourselves, we well know that NGOs are typically underfunded relative to the demand for service. All resources described here are downloadable at no cost from our web site.

7. Diffusing service delivery
Because anybody, anywhere in the world can find the material on the Internet and adopt or adapt it to local use, the services to women are delivered potentially anywhere.

8. Seeking Sustainability
Being an NGO, we are continually seeking foundation and grant support to facilitate our research and resource development. The success of our publications sales and training services has recently enabled internal (albeit partial) support of future resource development.

Delivery Model

The Centre is physically located in Canada but our resources can be used anywhere. Delivery of support and information to mothers is accomplished by helpers around the world who find the material through word of mouth, at conferences, at training workshops, or through the Internet. The approach is not prescriptive nor does it constrain service deliverers to set modalities or timing of intervention. We assume that helpers are best able to appreciate and meet the needs of the women they serve. Use of the material is integrated into existing service provision because it is flexible and adaptable. Some abused women -- the ultimate "clients" of the approach -- find the information directly and use it in a self-study approach.

The Centre for Children & Families in the Justice System supports the use of the material in two ways. First, it is available at no cost through the Internet (in a small but increasing number of languages). Second, on-site training is available anywhere in the world tailored to local needs. Other modalities of knowledge transfer are being explored and we are using feedback from women and other users in our future development of new material.

Resource material on the Internet

A series of resources is available in support of this initiative for download at no cost. Hard copies are available for purchase but users are encouraged to reproduce the material through photocopying or further printing (so long as the authors and copyright holder are acknowledged and no profit will be made). The package of supporting resources includes these documents:

Helping Children Thrive: Information for Mothers who Have Left Abusive Relationships (2004)
A two-page information pamphlet with the 10 parenting tips and briefly review of how a woman's parenting can be compromised by an abusive partner. The tips synthesize data on child development and the needs of children who lived with domestic violence. Available in English, French, Portuguese, Japanese (and soon in Arabic and Spanish).

Helping Children Thrive / Supporting Woman Abuse Survivors as Mothers: A Resource to Support Parenting (2004)
Information on how to support women as mothers in the period after an abusive relationship ends, including 27 handouts for women for service deliverers to use in individual or group interventions on woman abuse or on parenting. Presents the 10 parenting tips for mothers, an explanation of why each is important when children have lived with violence, and guidance on applying the tips at home. Service deliverers are provided with background information. Available in English and French.

Little Eyes, Little Ears: How Violence Against a Mother Shapes Children as they Grow (2007)
Our newest resource is a convenient overview of the latest research and related implications for intervention. The ten key ways children may be shaped by violence at home are described. Available in English and French.

Learning to Listen, Learning to Help: Understanding Woman Abuse and its Effects on Children (2005)
A concise overview for students in the helping professions (broadly defined) or anyone wanting a thorough but user-friendly introduction to important concepts and summaries of the latest information. Available in English and French.

Professor's Resource Guide to Teaching About Woman Abuse and its Effects on Children (2005)
An aid for the post-secondary lecturer planning a lecture or workshop on this topic. You find important definitions, summary of the research, questions you might hear from students, and list of class handouts. A companion CD includes a test bank of exam questions and a deck of PowerPoint slides for a sample lecture.

What About Me! Understanding the Child's View of Violence in the Family (2004)
A comprehensive review of the literature and summary of interviews with children. This document is of interest to researchers looking to learn from the methodological deficiencies of past research to guide the next generation of research.

On-site training

Demand for training is far greater than capacity to meet requests. Tens of thousands of front-line professionals attend workshops or training sessions organized locally. Many agencies who engage our services secure grants to fund the workshops or defray costs with attendance fees. Most of the training is delivered in Canada and the United States. In the last year, we were invited to Japan, Hong Kong, and Taiwan.

Key Operational Partnerships

In effect, any woman-serving organization, anywhere in the world, is a potential partner.

Financial Model

The developmental phase was funded by foundations and government grants while the sale of resources and revenue from training and public speaking partially supports the evolution of new material. External agencies can use the material without incurring any cost. To our knowledge, women who access services informed by the resources are not charged a fee.

The continued development of material is funded by publication sales, training revenue, and grants. We seek sustainability rather than profit. It is important to acknowledged that the background research and initial development of the resources were funded by the Packard Foundation, the Government of Ontario, the National Crime Prevention Centre (Ottawa) and, most recently, the National Clearinghouse on Family Violence (Ottawa) which supports the production of the latest resource, "Little Eyes, Little Ears: How Violence Against a Mother Shapes her Children as They Grow" (2007). That institution has a long-standing distribution infrastructure to mail free copies to those who request them. The Centre will soon use secure Internet-based e-shopping for prospective purchasers of our over 70 resources.

Effectiveness

The resources comprising our parenting support for women abuse survivors have a strong empirical and practical base, are user friendly, and are accessible at no cost. How many people benefitted from your program over the last year? While confident that the material is used widely, with a diffused service delivery model we cannot answer this question. This is what we know:

Adoption or Adaption by Other Agencies
A steady stream of requests seeks permission to re-print the material, translate it, or make modifications to suit local dialects or legal terminology. In a local example, the Simcoe Muskoka Health Unit in Ontario used the 10 parenting tips as the backbone of their "Think Twice" parenting campaign. They printed the tips on tray liners used in local McDonald's restaurants. The material is also integrated into the programing delivered through the NSPCC in Cardiff, Wales. A pilot project in Australia is noted later. Last year alone, professionals from Australia, Ireland, Scotland, the Netherlands, Taiwan and Japan, visited the Centre looking for information on "children exposed" resources. These are only a few examples.

Pilot Study of Feedback from Helping Children Thrive
At the request of the project funder, feedback was solicited from users via an Internet form in 2004. Most of the respondents were Canadian while 8% were American. Respondents worked at women's shelters or in the children's mental health field. They found the literacy level appropriate for the women they serve. Almost all (97%) agreed the material helps their work and 94% said it is helpful to the women they serve. Many respondents (53%) indicated that their knowledge of child exposure to domestic violence was fairly extensive before they read "Helping Children Thrive." Even so, 76% said their knowledge level increased after using it. All the people whose knowledge level had not increased considered themselves highly knowledgeable already. However, half of the people who rated themselves as highly knowledgeable said that their knowledge level increased. Similar findings were evident when asked about knowledge of parenting interventions, and perceived capacity to assist women as parent. Recommendations for future directions included translation into other languages, creation of a video, and more of the activities and fill-in-the-blank exercises already there.

Feedback from Training Sessions
Feedback after the on-site training sessions is consistently positive. Attendees typically appreciate the in-depth and advanced skills training and intervention implications of the material.

Web Site Traffic
The number of visitors to our web site increases years after year. In 2006/07, we had 265,000 visitors, up from 240,000 the previous year. They came from 206 countries, only 44% of whom are Canadian. In the previous year, there were 80,000 visitors from the U.S. including 8,000 from California and 6,000 from New York state. Next on the list is the United Kingdom, Australia, France, South Africa, India, New Zealand, the Philippines, Malaysia, Portugal, Ireland, Belgium, Japan, Germany and Singapore.

Web Access to E-resources
The resources forming the package of parenting material are consistently the most popular of the over 70 documents available on our web site. For example, the "What About Me!" research report from 2004 was read or downloaded 100,759 times in the previous year. That is a substantial increase over the figure of 85,000 from the previous year.

Australian Pilot in Women's Refuges
Some of the handouts for mothers from the "Helping Child Thrive" resource will be tested in women's refuges in New South Wales, Australia, on a pilot basis to replace the material previously distributed to new residents. Feedback will be garnered from refuge staff and women.

Which element of the program proved itself most effective?

The developmental model of impact of violence exposure consistently gets the best feedback. Specifically, there are four models of how violence exposure is experienced by children and teenagers in four age categories.

Scaling up Strategy

We spent several years developing the material in a triangulated process of reviewing the literature, interviewing mothers and children, and listening to the feedback from front-line professionals who attend our training sessions. The plan is to continue developing new materials, especially that appropriate for self-study by women. Raising awareness about the availability of the material is an on-going activity. For example, we are giving a full-day workshop to premier some of the new material at the Third International Conference on Children Exposed to Domestic Violence in May, 2007. Also, as previously mentioned, we hope to cultivate expertise in alternate methods of training delivery.

Stage of the Initiative

The initial evolution of the framework for understanding and the developmental phase for the training material has largely been accomplished. At this point, we are focused on the development of new material to augment the utility of existing resources.

Origin of the Initiative

The Centre for Children and Families in the Justice System has operated as a not-for-profit NGO for more than 30 years, earning a reputation for excellence in service, innovation in program development, and rigorousness in the applied research which informs both. In the 1980s, staff at the Centre (then known as the London Family Court Clinic) were among the first front-line professionals to observe how exposure to domestic violence manifest in the worrisome behavior, emotions and thoughts of children. Until that point, it was generally assumed that children were affected only if directly maltreated themselves.

The first opportunity to reflect our experience in resources for the front-line came with a generous grant from the Packard Foundation. Four resources were created for police, educators, early childhood educators and staff of juvenile custody and detention facilities in the United States. The success of those resources enabled us to garner funding to develop a comprehensive train-the-trainer initiative for early childhood educators in Ontario, Canada. Our understanding of the needs of front-line helpers has increased over the years, as has our ability to craft user- friendly resources summarizing important information concisely.

When an abusive relationship ends, women often worry about their children but have difficulty channeling that love and concern into concrete strategies to help them heal. Looking to the research literature, virtually all empirical work conducted on parenting by abused women was concerned only with documenting their deficits as mothers. At the same time, the enormous volume of parenting resources was not addressing the unique needs of children who lived with domestic violence. Some staff of women's shelters were telling us they did not always feel prepared to help women with questions about parenting children who had lived with domestic violence. Staff of mainstream counseling services recognized how the dynamics of abuse created unique challenges when delivering parenting support to families characterized by domestic violence. Integrating these streams of ideas, the idea of developing a parenting resource was born.